Mother's Day Musings

I haven't written a blog in so long so I felt that Mother's Day is a good enough excuse to get back at it! 

This morning at 4AM as I was trying to fall back asleep (hello pregnancy late night cravings), I was pondering Mother's Day. I just couldn't  help but feel like my heart was so full on this Mother's Day. 
You see, we always talk about honoring and celebrating moms on this day, which absolutely we should! But I can't think about celebrating us without celebrating the people who made us mothers! My sweet babies and my handsome husband. They are the ones who gave me the honor of being called mama! 

Without them there would be no reason to celebrate me. There would be no ultrasound pictures, no kicks in the belly, no expectation. There would be no birth story, there would be no adoption story, there would be no thousands of pictures and hours of video. There would be no mommy badges of honor for me. No "you made it through the first year!" badge, no "you are still half way sane" badge. No "congratulations you have changed 1.3 billion diapers" badge, and certainly no "wow you CAN physically exist with zero sleep" badge. 

My title would be much shorter. Before, my titles may have been: "wife, follower of Christ, daughter, friend, sister, teacher". 
Now I need a whole book to write my title. It might include all the above but add: Mama, nurse, chef & dietitian, referee, playmate, walking encyclopedia (why? why?), chauffeur, cheerleader, housekeeper, and so many more. 

I'll just say it boldly, without those two little stinkers and one on the way, I wouldn't be half the woman I am. 

And I can't forget the man who helped me become a mother. The one who has figured out how to love me how I need him to, who consistently cheers me on, steps in when I just can't do it anymore, is my partner in this hard thing we call parenting. Who encourages me to grow more and more and to become a better mother.  Who has surprised me and came into his own as well as a daddy. I couldn't think of anything or anyone better that the Lord gave me to do this thing.

It is a crazy thing, this being a mom or a dad. Sure it makes us crazier than we would be. We are missing some brain cells and beginning to get (gasp!) gray hairs. But being parents has caused us to grow and mature more than I could imagine. Helped us to be unselfish and learn to love fully and completely and unconditionally. Allowed us to grow closer to one another. 

It is in becoming a parent that we have come into our own. It is here that we shine. 
And that's what celebrating Mother's Day is about. 
Remembering what our mothers did for us, but also giving credit where credit is due. Because these boys of mine are simply amazing. And being their mama has been the most wonderful gift I could receive. 
So here's to all the mothers! And here's to the little ones who made them mothers. 

Breastfeeding II (You know you're a nursing mama when..)

After the biggest response I have had so far to my blog following my last post about breastfeeding, I would like to continue!
Under the title "You know you're a nursing mama when.." I will share things I have learned and experienced through my two breastfeeding journeys. Again, not every journey is the same, but there are some universal truths. I would love for other mamas to comment and add to my list of their own experiences!

You know you're a nursing mama when:

-You can put that baby straight into what we call a "milk coma"
-A baby who is a complete stranger can have you letting down by crying in your vicinity
-You know what the phrase "letting down" means
-You have tried at least once to nurse a crying newborn in a bathroom stall. Just once.
-You have nursed and/or pumped in the most strangest places. Bathroom at Disney.. bathroom at your friend's wedding in your bridesmaids gown, on a NYC subway, front row at church... 
-You get extremely defensive when anyone mentions giving that baby a bottle
-Formula samples, coupons, and commercials can be irritating to you
-You have probably flashed more strangers (and people you know) than you care to admit.
-You know what it feels like to have two very large and painful rocks on your chest
-You have milk sprayed your baby in the face, and possibly your partner's
-You thought you would die when that baby with his new teeth bit right down and then laughed at your reaction
-Taking a romantic getaway is absolutely out of the question because you can't be away from your little one

-Taking a romantic anything is out of the question in fact.
-Your chest has never been bigger. Or more off limits. I mean it. Don't touch!
-Your new lingerie is nursing bras. Unfortunately they don't sell those at Victoria's Secret. 
-Two different sizes brings on a whole new meaning. By the way, don't try on bras in this condition.
-Your freezer is full of little plastic bags of milk. These are gold by the way. Pouring it down the sink is painful.
-You know what it's like to survive on very little sleep. You now have a new identity as a zombie.
-Nursing in public is both necessary and your right, but you still can't help looking over your shoulder, waiting for a dirty look.
-You never thought you would cherish feeding your baby as much as you do. Those times of snuggling close are precious times you'll never forget!


Now it's your turn! What would you have to add?

Blessings, 
Lynsey

Breastfeeding I (Not for the Faint of Heart)

Let me preface this post by issuing a warning to my father in love and brother (and anyone else squeamish about breastfeeding), that this is indeed about breastfeeding, which includes (my) breasts, FYI. Moving on.

I have been one of those mamas who have been blessed to have nursing come pretty easy for me and my little ones. We have good "breastfeeding relationships" (whatever that means), for which I am very thankful. It was never a question for me if I would choose to nurse my babies or not, my mom had nursed us and her mom nursed her babies too. It wasn't until I became a mother myself and asked my mom about how she nursed hers, I  found that she, who became a mother at a very young age in the 70s when it wasn't popular to nurse, had chosen to. I admire her for that, because I'm sure it was even harder to get support then that it is now. So for me, it was a natural choice because I knew from reading lots as a mama-to-be that is was the best thing for my baby.

I am an awe by the way the Lord designed breastfeeding. Have you ever thought about it? With amazing foresight, He created mamas to produce the best milk possible for her baby from her own body, and for it to be available as soon as baby is born. Baby is born with sucking reflex so is able to nurse immediately. Not only that, but the composition of milk and the detail with which breastfeeding happens has such complexity it's astounding. And because He is a God who loves us and fosters relationship, breastfeeding has amazing abilities to bond mama and baby together, over and over again. Wow what a gift!

All that said, not very unlike pregnancy, labor, and delivery, no one can quite prepare you for how difficult breastfeeding is. I guess it's one of those things that anything worth doing is hard? Because even though I read all the books and knew what to expect (when you're expecting), and even though you hear people say stupid things like "If you're doing it right, it won't hurt.". Okay, yeah. It does. At least in the beginning. Just think about it, a little mouth with a startlingly strong suck reflex going to town on your sore, just-delivered- a-baby nipples. How can that not hurt?! It's not all a bed of roses to be honest.

 I realize that not every mama has had the blessing of breastfeeding success that I have.
Mamas who desire with all their heart to nurse but can't for whatever reason. Mamas who don't produce enough milk and can't keep that nurse-around-the-clock baby full, mamas who have biological issues, mamas who suffer with infections continually, mamas who had a preemie and bravely pump to give that baby nourishment, mamas who have to work and be away from their babies, mamas who had to pump exclusively and finally couldn't do it anymore, mamas who were just too plain exhausted after birth and maybe suffered from postpartum depression. Mama, I see your pain. I know from stories firsthand that you feel like a failure. I know you feel that you are less than because you couldn't nurse. Hear me, it's not your fault! And I'm so sorry you did not get to experience it. I'm sure you were able to bond with your baby in other ways. And at the end of the day, you are a good mama because you did what was best for your little one.

Epic Publix Meltdown

J has had his fair share of meltdowns. Fortunately they're usually at home, with no spectators (or witnesses). However the one meltdown that went down in our history as the most epic occurred in Publix. Of course. We spend a lot of time there apparently. 

On this particular day J had not behaved in the store. And because of this, by the time it was time to checkout and he learned that he would not be getting his ritual free cookie from the bakery because of his behavior, he was ripe for a big one. There I am, pregnant with E, in the middle of unloading the groceries to be checked out, with a preschooler pitching the hugest fit of his life over a cookie. 
Screaming, crying, thrashing, you know what I'm talking about. 
I tried to ignore, I tried threatening, I tried getting on his level and reasoning. Ha! Silly mama. He only grew more upset. "I WANT MY COOKIEEEEEEEE!!"

Trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, trying to hurry as fast as I could and get the heck out of there, trying to pretend that the whole store was not staring at this scene. Including the older woman checking out in front of me, and the cashier. Was it my imagination or were they casting judgmental looks?? I could almost read their minds: "Just give the kid a dang cookie!" They just stood there and watched. Come on ladies, haven't you ever had kids before?
I have never felt more embarrassed in my entire life. I knew my face must be flaming, and I was on the edge of exploding at my son and bursting into tears all at the same time. There was nothing I could do to escape it. 

And at that moment, a sweet angel appeared in the form of another mama, with some older children in tow. She said, "Are you okay mama? Anything I can help you with?" Nothing, unless you'd like to take my kid away for a while, is what I was thinking... 
"I've been there, don't worry, you're doing a good job, hang in there!" 
Wow! I thanked her and was able to address the other older, slightly more judgmental ladies, a little more boldly. Even though I didn't need to, I explained why my young son was pitching a fit and why I wasn't giving in to him. I knew I should be proud of that, but all it made me feel at the moment was shame.

We left Publix that day, both emotionally exhausted from the ordeal. He kept up his fit until long after we had gotten home. When I was able to later calm down and think about what had happened, I realized two very important things. 
First, although I felt like a failure that day, I wasn't. See I had two choices: Give in to my son's fit and give him what he wanted to keep him quiet and my embarrassment away, OR take the higher, harder road and stay strong so that he would learn an important lesson at his age- you aren't rewarded for bad behavior, and you cannot get what you want by throwing a fit. (We are till working on these lessons in fact)! 
Second, I was so thankful for the mama who took the time to encourage me and bless me in one of the hardest parenting moments. Her kindness gave me the confidence and (almost) cancelled out the other ladies' hurtful behavior. 

So fellow mamas, how will you react the next time you encounter another tired, stressed out, hands full, overwhelmed mama in the grocery store, or at the doctors office, or at the bank, or wherever? And instead of casting judgment or just saying nothing, maybe walk up and offer a helping hand. Or offer a word of encouragement. Because you know you have been there before! You will never know how much it will mean to her. Because we are all just doing our best aren't we? Trying our hardest not to screw up our kids and keep our sanity at the same time. Criticizing ourselves, and wallowing in guilt over this little thing or that. Lifting each other up instead of bringing each other down in the process will be a true test of our character. 

Wouldn't have it any other way (most days)
Blessings, 
Lynsey



Photos courtesy of yahoo images

The Mystery of "Uh-Uh!"

My little almost-two-year-old, E does not talk. Well mostly he doesn't. Sure he says "dada" and "mama" occasionally, and really likes to say "ball", even when referring to balloons. But other than that, he doesn't even say no! I'm not worried about this however. I know he's super smart and understands everything that's said to him. I also know that he's just really stubborn and doesn't talk because he simply doesn't want to.This child has an uncanny knack at talking without talking.He has a way of communicating to you exactly what he wants without saying an actual word.

He does this primarily by what I call the mystery of "uh-uh". You know, the in-your-throat, don't bother to say the word no, "uh-uh". E uses this word for everything. It can be used interchangeably to mean yes, no, I don't know, etc.
For example, "E, you ready to go to bed?" Uh-uh. 
"E, you want some applesauce?" Uh-uh. 
"E, where is your blankie and monkey?" Uh-uh. Bonus, shoulder shrug. 
"E, let's change your diaper." Uh-uh. 
"Ready to get out of the bath tub?"  Uh-uh.
"E, do you love mama?" Uh-uh. 

You can see how this can be very confusing and counterproductive.Because the uh-uh is also accompanied by the head shake. He apparently does not relish the thought of answering in the positive. What's really funny is when big brother J translates. "He said no, which really means yes, so he means yes mama." 

One day he will say actual words and shout no at me and I'll probably forget all about the mystery of uh-uh. But for now, this is our language.

Wouldn't want it any other way (most days)
Blessings, 
Lynsey

Back to School (Not So) Blues

Okay so I must be the only mama who is truly excited that it's almost school time. I keep seeing all these status updates.. "One more day until school starts, I'm gonna miss my baby sooo much! Soaking up the last day of summer before school, sad Mama, etc, etc."Are these updates designed specifically to shame me?! They might as well say "How can you not be depressed about your baby going to school and the fact that he will be away from you for three WHOLE hours for five WHOLE days a week??! Terrible mother."

I'm kidding I'm sure they're not, but still there's that mommy guilt.  You see, I love when school is in. The whole reason I send him to school is so we can be away from each other. Lord what would I do if I was homeschooling him? Wow I really do sound like a terrible mother..

Well it's true. Don't misunderstand me, my hubby and my babies are my life, in that order. They are one of the biggest purposes in my life. When I was young, I always wanted to be a mommy. And I knew before I was even married that I would  do whatever it took for me to stay home with my little ones and raise them myself. But Mama needs a little break and I'm sure J gets sick of me too! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, ya know.

School has been great for J. Gives him a structure, an outlet for his crazy boy energy. And he gets the chance to learn in a formal setting, and interact with kids his age. And do all those fun school things.
 Orientation was last week. He's not too keen on this new school thing. He meets his new teacher and blurts out, "I'm not having any fun!" Well there you have it. Hate to break it to you brother but you're still goin.

So we will pack his cute little backpack, and take him to his first day of school, and take all those pictures he hates me to take (I'm NOT smiling) , and I am sure that once I've dropped him off, I will miss him. Thankfully, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now about getting the little one in school somewhere...

What about you? Like sending your little ones to school?
Wouldn't have it any other way (most days)
Blessings,
Lynsey

Sunscreen

There I am, fixing dinner, minding my own business. My first mistake was not checking on my weirdly quiet sour patch kid. I walked into the living room to check and see E squirting the bottle of sunscreen he had taken from the diaper bag into a colander he had taken from the kitchen. “No E!! No!!” He looked up at me innocently of course.  But then I looked around at the rest of the living room. “Ohh Noo E!” I can’t remember the exact words but I’m pretty sure I didn’t speak too lovingly to my little one year old. A quick survey of the room showed he had also blessed the couch, the coffee table, the rug on the floor, and the TV table with bright white SPF 50 Sunscreen.

Gee, E if you wanted to go to the beach so badly you should have just told me.

Do you know how incredibly hard it is to clean out sunscreen from pretty much anything??  Greasy, oily, mess. After little E was bathed and put to bed I started in on the bright whiteness. It spreads. I had to use Resolve on the couch. It was then I began to see the white cloth I was using start to turn brown. Eww!

Okay if you know me you know I am a bit of a clean freak. Okay a lot a bit of a clean freak. And now I can add to the list: filthy couch. See our couch is brown, and so you couldn’t see my greatest enemy(possibly a bit dramatic) lurking right there. Until now.  So now thanks to my wonderfully inquisitive child who has a penchant for finding things he can squirt out, (soap, shampoo, lotion, Comet, etc) I know I have filthy couches. And I’m not sure what I can do about it. Do you know what that does to a clean freak like me? PS: I would have posted pics but they looked strangely like a crime scene and I didn't want to creep people out.

So I owe it all to sunscreen. And my precious son of course. Love him. As he’s slamming his hands on my keyboard as we speak. Wouldn’t trade it for anything (most days!)

Blessings,

Lynsey